Of the Vacation
by Kokui
Summary: This is one of those 'Fellowship in Modern Times' things. But this has a lovely trip to Italy in it, planned by the most annoyingly adorible Hobbit, Pippin! Good thing he has Elvish and Adult supervision. Too bad they are just as immature as the Hobbit.
1. The Idea

A/N: Ok, this is a total weird FanFiction that I decided to write when I was on my vacation to Italy!! Woohoo!!! So please enjoy this, and don't mock me for my insanity.  
  
Disclaimer: So, I don't own anything. Why would you even think that I own something like this? Huh? So there ya go, I don't own this. That is all.  
  
Chapter One: The Idea Comes Forth  
  
Pippin was very hyper today. He had just gotten a huge raise in his job, and now he had enough money for the vacation that he had always wanted to go on.  
  
Now all he had to do was get someone to go with him, and people hadn't really liked him all that much lately.  
  
The young Hobbit walked up to Legolas' apartment. Legolas would probably be his best bet, due to the fact that the Elf had an amazing ability to tune Pippin out at times.  
  
A few moments after Pippin had knocked on the door, Legolas opened it, his hair sopping wet, and only wearing a towel around his waist.  
  
"What is it this time, Pippin?" The wet Elf said after he saw the Hobbit.  
  
Pippin grinned, "I was wondering if I could ask you something? So can I?"  
  
"This is kind of a bad time. Can you come back later?" Legolas said.  
  
"Oh . . . ok. I'll be back soon." Pippin said seeming to walk away dejectedly.  
  
Legolas just closed the door and walked back toward the bathroom. But ten seconds hadn't passed before a knock sounded on the door. Legolas sighed and opened the door.  
  
"Hi, Lego! Is it later yet?" An annoying young hobbit said.  
  
"Pippin . . . I have an idea. I'll come over to your apartment when it's later." Legolas said. He then slammed the door in Pippins face.  
  
"Ok! I'll see you later then!" Pippin called through the door.  
  
"Go away!" Legolas responded.  
  
"Ok!"  
  
"Took, get away from my door, or be SHOT!"  
  
"Ok! I'm gone!" Pippin said walking down the hall three doors to his Hobbit hole apartment room. He heard an angry yell from across the hall when he was about to go into his room.  
  
"YOU STUPID COMPUTER!!! WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO?!"  
  
Pippin ran up to the door and called through, "Strider? Are you ok? Don't kill your new computer, it's a nice one this time!"  
  
The door flew open to reveal the angry Ranger, his sword in hand. He looked at Pippin angrily and said, "Yeah, I know, but Arwen put a STUPID PASSWORD ON IT SO I CANT EVEN GET INTO THE MAIN SCREEN!!!!! It's a laptop too . . ."  
  
Pippin shrugged. "Maybe later Legolas will help you. He managed to hack into my bank account, then he got into my works computer so that he could make it look like I deserved a raise, and then he hacked into my e-mail. Anyway, he's a genius with computers." Pippin said.  
  
Aragorn smiled. "Dude, that's the smartest thing I have ever heard you say. Tell me when its later then." He said closing the door.  
  
"Ok!" Pippin said walking back to his room, happy that he finally said something smart.  
  
Later Legolas knocked on Pippins door.  
  
"Hey, Leggy!" Pippin said opening the door.  
  
"Hey, Pip." Legolas said walking in and plopping down on the couch. "Waddya want?"  
  
"Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to-"  
  
Aragorn walked in, followed by an angry Arwen interrupting the Hobbit.  
  
"Aragorn, I cant believe that you don't want to eat the dinner I cooked." Arwen hissed.  
  
"I'm going on strike." Aragorn said. "If I get the computer password, I'll eat. Don't give it to me, and Ill give every meal you cook to Legolas and Pippin."  
  
As soon as he said that, Legolas and Pippin tried not to recoil. As much as Pippin liked food, and Legolas liked some food, they would not eat Arwen's cooking. It was horrible and detestable. It scared the bravest of eaters just to think of Arwen's food.  
  
Arwen just snapped, "Very well, starve for all I care!" She then turned on her heel (best she could with the low ceiling) and walked out.  
  
Aragorn slumped down on the couch next to Legolas and started crying. "Why? Why didn't I go for Eowyn? I could have been happy, if not for that controlling she-Elf, the stupid Evenstar of her people. the bane of any chanced of eating real food." With a strangled sob he fell into Legolas' shoulder and started weeping uncontrollably.  
  
Legolas uncertainly started patting Aragorn on the shoulder, while at the same time tried to push him off his shoulder.  
  
Pippin then had a lightbulb. "Strider, it sure sounds like you need a vacation." He said.  
  
Aragorn sat up and sniffled. "Yeah, I do." He said. "But not with Arwen, I need to be away from her for a while."  
  
Pippin grinned. "Well, I've been planning a trip to Italy for a while, if you guys want to come, you can. My mom says that I need either Elvish or Adult supervision if I go out of the country . . ."  
  
Legolas resisted the urge to jump to his feet, knowing it might cause severe head injury. Instead, he happily exclaimed, "That sounds fun! I'm in! What do you say, Aragorn?"  
  
Aragorn just started crying again.  
  
A/N: So, waddya think? I'm gonna write more whatever you say though I will take suggestions. But I have where they are going to go all planned out, so just review.  
  
Pippin: Yes, please do! Just push the little button down there!! Please do this, or Legolas will actually steal all my money and my credit cards then go on a mass killing spree and blame me!  
  
Me: That would be funny!!  
  
Pippin: OH NO!!!! Runaway, runaway! *runs away*  
  
Me: Pippin! Come back!! Oh shoot . . . 


	2. Airport Terror

A/N: Thank you so much for that super cool review Mistress !!!! And don't worry, Merry will appear later on in the FanFiction. He ran off due to 'the unfairness of his work conditions and Hobbits not being allowed to drive in the US.' So Merry will make an entrance in probably a few chapters!!! Woohoo!!!  
  
Pippin: Really?! Woohoo!!!!  
  
Me: Yes Pippin, but not in this chapter.  
  
Pippin: Awww man . . .  
  
Disclaimer: I don't think I own this . . . ok, I checked! I don't own LotR! But if I ever publish my book, I will own that! Booya.  
  
Chapter 2: Airport Terror  
  
Pippin sat in his brightly furnished Hobbit hole/apartment trying to figure out what to pack. He was afraid that Italian people would laugh at what he wore most of the time, so he didn't want to pack, but he knew he needed to pack knowing that they were leaving the next day.  
  
Legolas all of the sudden walked in dragging a small suitcase that had Pippin's name on it.  
  
"Ok, Pip, I took the liberty of sneaking into your room last night and stealing half your clothes then packing for you. I'm not about to walk around Italy with a poorly dressed Hobbit." Legolas said handing Pippin the bright orange suitcase.  
  
"Thank you Legolas! I was just debating what to pack!" Pippin said wiping a tear away from his left eye.  
  
Legolas opened his mouth to answer, when a yelling from across the hall alerted them that Aragorn and Arwen were having another fight.  
  
Legolas and Pippin grinned at each other mischievously and walked into Aragorn and Arwen's apartment, unnoticed.  
  
The room was furnished with Elvish stuff and then some of Aragorn's old stuff from when he was just a wee little Ranger, like his first sword. (Tiny thing, quite cute too).  
  
The Elf and the Hobbit sat down on the gray couch, holding bowls of popcorn to watch the fight.  
  
"Aragorn, Faramir tells me that you have been flirting with Eowyn!" Arwen hissed menecingly.  
  
Aragorn shook his head, "No, Eowyn was flirting with me. I only responded with my own, amazing manly charm." He said, grinning cheesily.  
  
Pippin and Legolas contained their laughter by stuffing their faces with the popcorn.  
  
Arwen growled, "You are married to me. Eowyn is married to Faramir. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FLIRTING WITH EACH OTHER!!!!" She yelled the last part right in Aragorns face. We are certain that he lost some of his hearing from that yell.  
  
Aragorn looked as if he was about to quail when Legolas and Pippin started chanting, "Aragorn, Aragorn." Over and over. People crowded in the doorway to watch the fight joined in the whispered chanting, making it sound like they were in a cult.  
  
The chanting seemed to give the King of Gondor strength to look Arwen in the eye. Thoughts of two weeks without her gave him strength to open his mouth. The smell of Arwens cooking gave him just enough fear to make him speak. "Arwen, I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow. You're not coming. You'll have to go stay with some of your Elf friends while I'm gone." The hurt look on Arwen's face made him happy, so he delivered the final blow. "I'm taking the computer with me."  
  
A gasp rose from the audience. The computer, that was harsh. Arwen burst into tears and ran into the bedroom, while people applauded Aragorns bravery and that Arwen would be out of the building for a few weeks.  
  
Aragorn grinned at Pippin and Legolas and said, "Wow! Now we can be ready to go to the airport tomorrow! Cool!"  
  
They then went to a bar to celebrate Aragorns victory over Arwen.  
  
The next morning, Legolas drove his two traveling companions to the airport, slightly angry. The hobbit and the ranger had gotten drunk the night before and cut the Elf's hair. It was now very short and spiked.  
  
Pippin groaned in the backseat of Legolas' red convertible. "Leggy" he said carefully, "You're driving way too fast."  
  
"Bug off, Took." Legolas snapped. He looked very cool with the hair, but not liking change, the Elf didn't like it.  
  
Aragorn sat wide-eyed in the front seat as Legolas dodged a pedestrian as he ran a red light while flipping off a taxi driver. "Legolas, Pippin's right! I don't even drive this fast, its too dangerous."  
  
"Bug of . . . uhhh . . . Strider." Legolas snapped going on the sidewalk momentarily to dodge a slower driver.  
  
*thump*  
  
Aragorn and Pippin spun around to see what had made the thumping sound, and what the bump they had just felt was. What they saw was a hobbit, laying face down on the ground.  
  
"Leggy, you just ran over my fourth cousin!" Pippin exclaimed.  
  
"Did you know him personally?" Legolas asked pulling onto the freeway and going even faster.  
  
"Well, no." Pippin started.  
  
"Then, no big loss." Legolas finished for him.  
  
Aragorn grinned, "There are a lot of hobbits in this world that no one will miss. I'm pretty sure your fourth cousin is one of those people."  
  
Pippin shrugged and started playing with the radio.  
  
When they reached the Airport, they all didn't know what to do. They had received excellent tickets thanks to Legolas and his good looks, but none of them had ever flown before, so they had no clue.  
  
Legolas walked up to an information counter to ask the young lady there what they needed to do. Too bad the blonde girl was to mesmerized to even speak. That happened about three more times until Aragorn asked for directions.  
  
"Ok, first you need to check in your luggage. Got that?" The information counter person said chewing on a humungus wad of gum. She had brown hair, and her nametag read, 'Jenni'.  
  
Legolas, who was holding a pad of paper and a pencil, scribbled down in Elvish, 'Check in luggage'. He looked down and said to Pippin. "Got it."  
  
Pippin looked up at Aragorn and said, "Got it."  
  
Aragorn looked at Jenni and said, "Got it."  
  
Jenni popped her gum, then continued. "Now, you're on a nonstop flight to Rome Italy, right" the ranger the Hobbit and the Elf nodded. "Ok, then you'll then need to go through security. So, no weapons or sharp stuff of any kind in your carry on luggage or in a pocket . . ." She saw Aragorns sword and added, "Or in a sheath. You'll have to stick that in your check in luggage. Got that?"  
  
Legolas quickly scribbled above 'Check in luggage', 'put away weapons'. He then put as step three, 'Go through security.' He looked down at Pippin and said, "Got it."  
  
Pippin looked up at Aragorn and said, "Got it."  
  
Aragorn looked at Jenni and said, "Got it."  
  
Jenni popped her gum, then continued. "Ok, now after security you'll have to go to the terminal and gate where your plane is going to be taking off from." She looked at the ticket and said, "That's at uhhh A27. So make your way to terminal 'A' then go to gate 27. Got that?"  
  
Legolas quickly wrote down, 'Go to A27'. He looked down at Pippin and said, "Got it."  
  
Pippin looked up at Aragorn and said, "Got it."  
  
Aragorn looked at Jenni and said, "Got it."  
  
Jenni popped her gum, then continued. "Ok, then all you need to do is check in at your gate at the counter then wait for them to call the row you guys are sitting on! Good luck!"  
  
"Legolas, did you get all that?" Aragorn asked quickly.  
  
"Yep!" Legolas said looking at his neat Elvish handwriting in admiration. He then looked at Jenni and said, "Miss, your help has been greatly appreciated. May the Valar bless you." The Elf, ranger and Hobbit all bowed to Jenni and walked off.  
  
Jenni popped her gum again. "Hm, that was weird." She said as the next person came up.  
  
Legolas Pippin and Aragorn were meanwhile putting all their weapons in their luggage that they were going to check in.  
  
"Ok, we have all swords daggers, short swords, bows arrows and any other killing device packed and away, correct?" Aragorn asked as they got in line to check in their luggage.  
  
Legolas and Pippin paused to think. After a moment Legolas nodded, signifying that he had no killing tool on him, but Pippin kept on thinking. And thinking. Until they were next in line. He then nodded happily.  
  
"Took you long enough." Aragorn muttered.  
  
Pippin looked confused and asked, "What?"  
  
Legolas just said, "Forget it Pippin, it's not important." He then went to talk to the person checking in their luggage.  
  
"Do you think he knows what he's doing?" Pippin whispered up to Aragorn.  
  
"I don't know," Aragorn said, trying to sound mysterious, but only succeeding in sounding really weird.  
  
Pippin looked at the nice clothes Legolas was wearing. "When did he get those?"  
  
Aragorn shrugged. "I dunno, but he got me this to wear on the airplane!" he said admiring the nice golf shirt and slacks.  
  
Pippin gasped. "He gave me these to wear too! He said that he's not going to be seen in an airport with a poorly dressed Hobbit."  
  
"Legolas even made me wash my hair . . ." Aragorn said sadly.  
  
Pippin gasped. "Wow! How'd he do that?"  
  
"He threatened to force feed me with Arwen's cooking." The Ranger shuddered. "I'm not taking that chance before going to Italy."  
  
Pippin nodded, then noticed that Legolas was done, and all they had was their carry on luggage, and Aragorn's laptop bag.  
  
"Ok, Mortals, lets move!" Legolas said, walking toward security.  
  
"Wait! What's next on the list?" Pippin called after the Elf.  
  
Legolas turned around and pointed to a sign that said security and said, "Security, duh!"  
  
Pippin grinned and followed after Legolas and Aragorn.  
  
They didn't get through security with too many problems, except that Pippin found it fun to run through the metal detectors, and had to be carried away from security by Aragorn, while Legolas said apologies to the security people.  
  
"I'm really sorry about my friend here, he is a Hobbit you know."  
  
The security people nodded and went back to business.  
  
When they got to the terminal, Pippin looked around in awe. "Its . . . its . . . food!!!" Pippin exclaimed starting to run toward a Cinibon.  
  
Legolas grabbed the Hobbit before he could get to far and handed the Hobbit to Aragorn. "Hold him." Legolas said walking toward their gate.  
  
Aragorn held Pippin over one shoulder and walked after Legolas.  
  
They reached gate A27 and they looked at the desk where they were to check in at.  
  
"Uhh, Aragorn, Strider buddy, its your turn to check in." Legolas said taking Pippin from the ranger and handing him the tickets.  
  
"Nononononononono! You can't make me do this, I handled the information desk!" Aragorn said, a pleading look on his face, terror in his eyes.  
  
"Sorry buddy, but I handled those security people too!"  
  
"Crap." Aragorn said. Then, coughing slightly he walked up to the desk, where the meanest looking orc he had ever seen was standing behind the counter.  
  
"Hello, I would like to check in." Aragorn said, trying not to notice that the Orc named Lenny was missing an arm.  
  
"Ok!" Lenny said happily taking the tickets from Aragorn. "Oh wow, first class across the Atlantic, niiiicccee . . ."  
  
Aragorn looked at the Orc wide eyed as Lenny typed madly on the computer with one hand.  
  
"Ok! We got it! When we call first class, rows one through ten, come on up, you're on row one!"  
  
Aragorn nodded and took the boarding passes and tickets from Lenny. He then walked to where Legolas and Pippin were sitting as quickly as he could.  
  
"That was the scariest thing EVER!!" Aragorn sobbed.  
  
"We're sorry." Legolas and Pippin said in unison, trying not to burst out laughing.  
  
Aragorn sniffled and handed Legolas and Pippin their tickets. "Your not sorry that Lenny was the scariest Orc I have ever seen in my life."  
  
"Well, he is awfully scary." Pippin commented. "He kinda looks like that Orc chieftain that tried to stab Frodo . . ."  
  
They all paused and looked at Lenny. Lenny looked at them and smiled. They looked away from Lenny and huddled in a group.  
  
"We did kill the Orc Chieftain, right?" Legolas hissed  
  
"I don't remember!" Pippin said.  
  
"I think we did!" Aragorn said after a moment.  
  
The three sighed and glanced at Lenny.  
  
"Maybe they're related . . ." Pippin commented.  
  
Legolas was about to hit Pippin when they announced that they would begin boarding and called rows 1-10.  
  
No one in that airport had ever seen someone board a plane so fast, as Legolas, Pippin and Aragorn had that day.  
  
A/N: Ok, I hope you liked that chapter, it was kinda long . . . wowser!  
  
Pippin: Ainasulfae, so why don't Aragorn and Legolas join in these conversations that we have?  
  
Me: I don't know . . . maybe its because they have nothing to say.  
  
Pippin: *gasp* I cant even imagine what that would be like!  
  
Me: I know, Pippin, I know . . . 


	3. On the Airplane

A/N: Wowser! Thank you all for the great reviews!!! Hmmm, Ill answer a few questions . . .  
  
Angel 1 I like that idea! Yes, Elrond and Haldir in Rome (or in a nearby city) are there . . . I like your Ideas with Arwen . . . I'll decide on which one I'm gonna use in a min. ;) I'll think on having Pippin and Aragorn being arrested though . . . Thanks!!!  
  
AshNight Don't worry, the hobbits will be along soon! I'm not sure how I'm gonna get Frodo and Sam there, but they will arrive in Italy to join in whatever they might do there somehow!! So no worries!!  
  
Linkin Park Fan Oh my gosh you are insane!! No more apple beer (non alcoholic or alcoholic :p) late at night for you. Or as me bro would say, "No soup for you."  
  
Mehetamo Lost in an airport? *twitch* nononononono . . . I've gotten lost in an airport before, NOT FUNNY!! I might make their luggage all beat up though! I dunno though . . .  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, look at the word 'disclaimer'. What is the root for that word? Disclaim. Now, if I owned LotR, would I really need to disclaim that I owned it? Think on that, will ya?  
  
Chapter 3: On the Airplane  
  
Pippin sat wide eyed in his window seat next to Aragorn. They hadn't taken off yet, but Pippin was amazed to watch a dwarf driving one of those luggage car things around. He suddenly had a flashback of Merry.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"Its not fair, Pip! Hobbits are not allowed to drive any motorized vehicles within the US boarders!" Merry ranted. He continued saying practically the same thing for a while, just using different wordage until he had to gasp for breath.  
  
Pippin took advantage of the second of silence to say, "So? Legolas will drive us places! He drove me to the pub yesterday! That way I even had a non drunk driver to drive me home!"  
  
Merry got a look of pure rage on his face and yelled, "HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? THE FACT THAT THEY ARE NOT LETTING US DRIVE IS AN ACT OF DISCRIMINATION AGAINST HOBBITS!!!!!! I HEARD IN ITALY HOBBITS CAN DRIVE MOTORCYCLES!!!! YOUR WITH THE GOVERNMENT ON THIS ARENT YOU? YOU WANT TO HAVE ALL HOBBITS HAVE TO BE DRIVIN EVERYWHERE!!! IN ITALY HOBBITS ARE EQUALS!!"  
  
Pippin let his eyes well up with tears. Then in an offended voice he said, "Then why don't you move to Italy then if you think you have more rights there? America doesn't need mean Hobbits like you!"  
  
Merry looked at Pippin like he was a genius. "Pippin, you're a genius!" He cried, "I'm gonna move to Italy!"  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
Pippin was sad now that he had been smart and told Merry to move to Italy. Merry was a nice Hobbit and all, but he liked to yell sometimes . . .  
  
Suddenly an Airplane stewardess appeared to ask if they wanted any drinks.  
  
"Ill have a Coke." Aragorn said, trying to sound like an high and mighty King of Gondor, but sounding kinda funky instead.  
  
"Do you have any ale?" Pippin asked.  
  
"No, but you are too young to drink!" The stewardess said shocked.  
  
"No I'm not!" Pippin said offended. "I'm a thirty year old Hobbit!"  
  
The stewardess immediately looked embarrassed. "Oh, I'm so sorry sir! I didn't realize . . ."  
  
Pippin didn't seem to mind a bit. "It happens to me all the time!" He said. "Do you have anything LIKE ale?"  
  
"We have non alcoholic Ginger Ale!" The stewardess said with a humunguous grin.  
  
"I'll have that!" Pippin said happily. The stewardess nodded, the grin still plastered to her face, and walked off to get the drinks.  
  
Pippin looked over to where Legolas was sitting across the isle from Aragorn. Legolas looked totally disgusted at who he had to sit next to. In a moment, he found out why. It was a female dwarf.  
  
When the dwarf started fawning at Legolas' arm, he jumped up and immediately ran to a stewardess.  
  
"Miss, I'm sorry, but I don't think I can handle that lady sitting next to me." Legolas said, now looking terrified and disgusted.  
  
"Would you like to move to a different seat? I'm pretty sure I saw an open one in coach . . ."  
  
Legolas put on his best-dignified look and said, "I am Legolas Greenleaf, the Prince of Mirkwood! I do not sit in coach when I fly! My father would never hear of it! I demand that she be moved before I'm sexually harassed!"  
  
The airline stewardess looked at Legolas in awe, for he seemed to glow when he said that, (mainly due to the fact that someone turned on their light while Legolas was talking, and it aimed right at his head.)  
  
"We can do that, Prince Legolas!" The stewardess said, still in awe.  
  
Five min later, the Dwarf was gone, and someone else was coming to sit up there. Legolas inwardly prayed to the Valar that it wouldn't be a Dwarf.  
  
"Please!" He whispered, his eyes closed, "Please oh great Valar! If you have any love for this Elf, let the person that will sit here be anyone but any dwarf or evil thing. Gimli would be ok, but he's off touring China. The other dwarfs scare me, they like stroking my hair or my arm . . . please, Oh great Manwe!!" Legolas finished by saying the name of the Vala. He then looked up to see who would be sitting next to him.  
  
"Thank the Valar." He whispered happily. He then jumped up and asked, "Glorfindel, is that you?"  
  
The golden haired elf looked at Legolas happily, "Legolas!! I'm so happy I get to sit next to you! I almost had to sit in coach! It's filled with men and dwarfs and orcs . . ." Glorfindel shuddered.  
  
"Do not speak of it mellon nin! Sit, and wait for the stewardess. She'll give you a drink or something!"  
  
Glorfindel smiled happily and sank into his seat. "Thank the Valar." He said, "these seats are comfy!"  
  
"Yes!" Legolas said. They then started speaking in such rapid Elvish that Aragorn couldn't understand.  
  
Pippin looked up and asked, "Why do they always thank the Valar if something good happens to them? "  
  
"Because they want to thank the Valar, I guess." Aragorn said, clearly wanting to give an answer even though he didn't know the answer.  
  
Five min. later, they were taxing toward the runway listening to the safety video. Aragorn and Pippin snickered at the bad acting, while Legolas and Glorfindel watched, appalled that there were no Elves in the video, but they stuck a Hobbit in there.  
  
As soon as the video was over in all the languages that the people could think of, they started taxing down the runway, going about the same speed as Legolas on the freeway.  
  
Pippin fainted as soon as they were in the air, Aragorn grabbed his throw up bag(or as they like to call them 'Motion Discomfort Bags') and the Elves couldn't help but laugh at the Hobbit and the Rangers weak stomachs. 


	4. On the Airplane Part 2

A/N: I'm sorry that it wasn't as funny! I promise that this one will be funny!! Or at least I hope that it will be, because I have been thinking about what could make an airplane ride funny . . . so at last I last I decided on what will be written in this chapter. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Pippin: You know that evil laugh scares me . . .  
  
Me: I know!  
  
Aragorn: That was . . . interesting . . . I sure hope its nothing that will get us in too much trouble . . .  
  
Legolas: Are you kidding? Anything that is illegal or dangerous or would get us in trouble is bound to be plenty of fun!  
  
Me: I like the way you think Elf . . .  
  
Disclaimer: No ownage of LOTR here!  
  
Chapter 4: On the Airplane Part 2  
  
Pippin sat on the airplane bored (much like the author is now). He had finished dinner several min. ago and now he didn't know what to do. He had seen all the movies that they were showing on the flight already, and the stewardesses were asking people to close their windows as people fell asleep.  
  
Aragorn was watching the movie 'While You Were Sleeping' on his laptop laughing and crying at the same time. Pippin (who had seen the movie before) saw that it was almost over, so he had to think of something to do before the King popped in another movie.  
  
Aragorn finished his movie just as Pippin had an idea.  
  
"Aragorn!" Pippin said in a loud whisper.  
  
"What?" Aragorn said in an equally loud whisper that everyone could hear.  
  
"I've had an idea!" Pippin whispered. As he finished, the lights went off. It was kinda spooky . . .  
  
Aragorn took this as an omen of bad tidings. For it's not natural for Pip to have an idea . . . "I dunno . . . it would have to be a pretty darn good one if I go along with it." Aragorn said, abandoning the whisper for a quieter voice.  
  
Pippin grinned and scribbled something down on a napkin. He then handed the napkin to Aragorn happily.  
  
Aragorn read the napkin. The moment he finished, an evil grin spread across his face. Aragorn quickly handed the napkin to Legolas.  
  
Legolas (who had been watching someone have difficulty with their CD player) read the napkin, as he read, a grin so evil not even Sauron himself could have managed it. (If of course Sauron ever grins evilly of course)  
  
"Lets do it." Legolas muttered.  
  
In mere seconds, the Elf the Hobbit and the Ranger were wearing roller blades and holding hockey sticks. They then skated down the isles, Pippin holding a small rubber ball. The napkin that had the message written on it fluttered down onto Legolas' seat.  
  
It read, "Why don't we play hockey? First one to score wins."  
  
Pippin was skating down the hall pushing the ball in front of him with the stick. The isles were narrow, so it made it all the more difficult, but all the more fun. He was going toward the back of the plane, preparing to shoot when-  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" A terrified Hobbit yelled, falling into three people as Aragorn cut in front of him stealing the ball.  
  
Aragorn held in his cackle of glee as he sped up the isle, then swerving into the next when he had the chance.  
  
Too bad Legolas was waiting to trip him with his stick.  
  
"Curse you Elf!" Aragorn muttered as he pulled himself up, off of a group of terrified girls, and skated after Legolas, Pippin right behind him.  
  
Legolas was skating gracefully down the isle. He was nearly in shooting range when Aragorn and Pippin made it so the game was tackle hockey.  
  
According to an eye witness (Glorfindel) the tackle was spectacular. It seemed extremely difficult for Pippin and Aragorn to launch themselves at Legolas with the Roller blades on, and as they flew Legolas looked back and a look of pure terror rose to his face. It also seemed very difficult for Legolas not to scream like a girl as he hit the floor. His scream sounded just like a dying Ringwraith.  
  
Amazingly all three were back up with not too much difficulty. They were in the first class cabin and heading back toward coach. It was very difficult to tell who was in control of the ball, for they were all crammed together in the isle trying to move down toward the end of the plane witch was defined as the scoring area. It was amazing that they were moving at all. A group of little children were watching in awe.  
  
Finally, Aragorn broke away, the ball in his possession. He was speeding down the isle trying to reach the end of the plane to score. But luck was not with him.  
  
Pippin jumped over Legolas and Aragorn, amazingly not hitting the ceiling. As soon as he cleared Aragorn, he did a fancy flip and stole the ball from Aragorn, then slap shot it right into the back of the plane, where the ball promptly knocked out a stewardess.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn groaned and skated back to their seats, heads down in defeat. Pippin happily retrieved his ball and skated after them.  
  
After a few moments of boredom, Legolas had an idea.  
  
They played full contact football the rest of the flight.  
  
Several more stewardesses were knocked out in the course of the game-play.  
  
A/N: Ok, I really hope that chapter was a little funnier! I personally liked it . . . any suggestions on what should happen once they reach the airport? Should they have trouble finding a cab, or should Arwen appear, or should both happen? Arwen appears and they have trouble finding a cab? Or if you have another suggestion, just tell me!  
  
Aragorn: NO!!!!!! NOT ARWEN!!!! Hide me . . .  
  
Pippin: Strider, when did you join in Ainasulfae and my conversation?  
  
Me: At the begging of the chapter, duh.  
  
Legolas: Do you think Pippin really noticed that?  
  
Aragorn: Nope! I knew he didn't!  
  
Me: Hey, why don't we all end this chapter so that people can finish reading and review!  
  
Pippin Legolas and Aragorn: *cult chanting* review, review, review, review, review, review . . . 


	5. The Baggage Claime and the Taxi

A/N: Well, I don't know why people didn't review me too much . . . but I shall charge forth!  
  
Disclaimer: Why would anyone think that I could possibly own anything related to LotR? I do own many other things that aren't important though.  
  
Chapter 5: The Baggage Claim and the Taxi  
  
Legolas was the first off the plane, Followed closely by Aragorn carrying a sleeping Pippin. They all had multiple bruises and Legolas was limping slightly.  
  
"Ok, where do we go now?" Aragorn asked as they looked around.  
  
"I'm figuring that we should go to the baggage claim. That's what the airplane told us to do!" Legolas said pointing down the terminal.  
  
Glorfindel walked up behind them. "Follow me, boys, I know what to do." He said importantly. Then he marched down the terminal followed closely by Legolas and Aragorn holding Pippin.  
  
"Behold my little friends!" Glorfindel said, "The baggage claim!" Apparently he felt very important that he could take them to the place.  
  
"Thank you mellon nin." Legolas said bowing. "Your assistance is greatly appreciated."  
  
"It was not a problem little friend!" Glorfindel said returning the bow. He then walked over to the carousel and yanked off a piece of baggage that matched his hair perfectly.  
  
"Why did he keep calling us his 'little friends'?" Aragorn asked as soon as Glorfindel was out of earshot.  
  
"I have a feeling it makes him feel important." Legolas responded. "Ever since that incident with Arwen-'' Aragorn shivered. "And Glorfindel's horse, he has wanted to make himself feel better."  
  
"Oh … that makes sense." Aragorn said.  
  
As they were waiting for their luggage to come around, Pippin suddenly woke up and jumped out of Aragorn's arms. He looked around with a bemused look on his face and started wandering around.  
  
"Shouldn't we stop him?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Naaahhhh . . ." Aragorn responded watching the Hobbit stare at a sign written in Italian. "Let's let him wander, we'll get him when we get all our luggage."  
  
"Speaking of our luggage, where is it?" Legolas asked staring at a bright purple piece of luggage go by for the fourth time.  
  
Pippin walked over and said. "Guys, I think I found all our stuff."  
  
Legolas and Aragorn looked at Pippin expectedly.  
  
Pippin pointed down the room a ways. "Its all over there." He then walked in the direction that he had pointed.  
  
"Are you sure he's all right?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"I don't know, that last football to the head seemed to have done something to him…"  
  
They followed Pippin anyway.  
  
When they got to where Pippin had pointed, they saw a pile of their luggage, stacked neatly in a ziggurat (you know, those layered pyramids?) On top of that pile sat a young Hobbit wearing a security uniform.  
  
The Hobbit saw Pippin and waved. "Hi Pip!"  
  
Pippin grinned and waved back. "Hi Merry."  
  
Legolas and Aragorn looked closer at the Hobbit.  
  
"By the Valar, that is Merry!" Legolas exclaimed.  
  
"Hi Legolas!" Merry said. "Hi Strider."  
  
The Hobbits were talking to each other as if you meet friends like this everyday, in an Italian airport in the middle of a baggage claim after not seeing each other for years.  
  
Merry hopped off the ziggurat of luggage and grinned. "Ok, I just got off work, so I can help you guys. My car isn't big enough for all this luggage and then you big people, so I'll help you catch a cab." He grinned proudly. "I'm now fluent in Italian!"  
  
So they gathered up their 12 pieces of luggage and left the airport to try and catch one of the white taxi cabs.  
  
When one finally pulled over that would fit all their luggage, Merry went around to the driver to talk, they had given him the place they were staying before hand.  
  
Merry came back looking slightly shaken. "O-ok . . . the dr-driver k-knows w-where the p-place i-is . . ."  
  
"Merry, are you alright?" Pippin asked as Aragorn and Legolas stuck the luggage in the back.  
  
"I-I'm fi-fi-fine . . ." Merry said still looking shaken.  
  
"Ok, Pip, lets get in!" Legolas said opening the door.  
  
Pippin jumped in the car and stuck his head out the window.  
  
"Merry, maybe sometime you can show us around!" Pippin said happily.  
  
Merry only nodded and walked off numbly for the parking lot.  
  
The car started pulling away, so Pippin brought his head back in the window.  
  
"I have never seen Merry act so strange." Aragorn said rubbing his chin.  
  
"Nor I." Legolas said sitting in the middle of the backseat.  
  
Pippin laughed. "Then obviously you have never seen Merry when he gets drunk. He acts weirder than that!"  
  
They drove in silence until Legolas leaned forward to ask the driver a question.  
  
"Umm, excuse me, but how much longer till we reach the hotel?"  
  
The driver answered in Elvish. The driver was also female.  
  
Legolas sat back looking petrified. Aragorn looked curiously at the driver's seat in front of him.  
  
"What's wrong, Legolas?" He asked.  
  
Legolas just stare straight forward his blue eyes wide open and terrified. He stayed that way until the taxi stopped at their destination near half an hour later, when he jumped over Pippin out the open window and hid behind a lamppost.  
  
Pippin looked at Legolas curiously then turned to Aragorn. "Why don't you pay? I think you have Euro."  
  
Aragorn nodded as Pippin climbed out and started pulling their luggage out. It all fell out and landed on top of the little Hobbit in a giant heap.  
  
"ooooowwwwwww."  
  
Aragorn snickered and walked up to the driver's window and asked, "How much?"  
  
"Nothing for you honey!" Responded the driver in a sweet sounding voice.  
  
Aragorn looked at the driver, his eyes widened as his mouth opened and he let out a yell.  
  
"GIVE ME MY SWORD!!!!" He shouted.  
  
Legolas ran over to the heap of luggage and managed to grab the weaponry bag and pull out Aragorns sword. "Mellon nin, hurry!" Legolas cried throwing the sword to Aragorn.  
  
"That I shall!" Aragorn said drawing his sword. Arwen had gotten out of the taxi and looked at Aragorn terrified.  
  
"Honey, you wouldn't kill me!" She said tearfully.  
  
Aragorn responded with a war cry and charged at Arwen.  
  
She screamed and jumped into the car, quickly driving away.  
  
A/N: Ok, waddya think? I personally liked that chapter! Now where do you think that they should go next? Should they go to  
  
The Vatican  
  
The Colosseum and the Roman Forum  
  
Please tell me where you want them to go, and possibly whom they meet  
with. If no one tells me I'll just be forced to ask my sister and  
then ha! We'll do what she wants us to do! Or, I'll be forced to  
decide myself… Please review! 


	6. Pippin and the Pope

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!!! To the Vatican it is! OH! I would like say this,  
  
~ Wildcat: My sister!! Thank you sososososo much for reviewing!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Hmmm, Ok, nothing of LotR is in my ownership. Buuuttttt, I do own something.  
  
Chapter 6: Pippin and the Pope  
  
Aragorn and Legolas worked quickly to remove the luggage from atop Pippin while discussing Arwen.  
  
"I can't believe that she followed us here. that's like. freaky." Legolas said as he removed his green suitcase from atop Pippins head.  
  
"She didn't follow us here." Aragorn said pulling Pippin out. "She followed the Laptop here. She is drawn to its power, every moment of every day she hears it, calling to her. She follows its power. Until this thing is destroyed, she will follow it, trying to get it."  
  
Pippin looked at Aragorn, then Legolas. "That sounds oddly familiar." He commented. "But I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really don't know why."  
  
"Yeah, it really does, doesn't it?" Aragorn said.  
  
Soon they were in their room unpacking and discussing who would be sleeping on the couch, for the room only had 2 beds, and none were too keen to double up.  
  
"You really don't want to see an uncomfortable hobbit." Pippin said pleadingly. "It wouldn't be that great to walk around Italy with a tired hobbit."  
  
Legolas looked extremely thoughtful at this comment. After a few seconds thought he said, "Ok, Pip gets one of the beds."  
  
Aragorn and Legolas then looked at each other.  
  
"How do we decide between the two of us?" Aragorn asked.  
  
Legolas snickered. "We could have an archery contest." Said he.  
  
Aragorn snorted. "Only if we can then have a sword fight."  
  
They stared at each other.  
  
Pippin then piped up. "Why don't we let Aragorn have it because Legolas, you don't need to sleep." The Elf and the Man looked at Pip in awed disbelief. Then facing each other again, Aragorn asked,  
  
"Did Pippin just say something smart?"  
  
"I think that he did." Legolas replied.  
  
So that ended the trouble with the beds. That night, Pippin and Aragorn slept on their rotten hotel beds, although they thought that it was better then the ground, while Legolas stayed happily watching EMN. Elvish Movie Network.  
  
The next morning, Legolas roused his two traveling companions at the crack of 6 happily. He had watched 4 straight hours of M*A*S*H in Elvish after EMN started playing Horror movies. He didn't want to tell anyone, but Horror movies scared him.  
  
"Rise and embrace the day my little mortal friends!" He said throwing open the curtains and kicking Aragorn out of bed.  
  
Pippin appeared from the sheets looking highly disheveled. "Its too early to be waking up."  
  
Legolas looked at the Hobbit disapprovingly. "Peregrin son of Paladin of the house of Took, I have already showered, brushed and dried my hair, set out what you guys are going to wear, gotten dressed myself, and ordered a magnificent breakfast, and M*A*S*H only ended 15 min. ago."  
  
Pippin opened his mouth in awe as Aragorn rose from the ground holding his sword in an attack position. Kings of Gondor do not like being awaken in such a rude manner.  
  
"Aragorn, if you're going to try and attack me, I'd suggest trying to be quiet." Legolas said walking out of the room. He then called, "Pippin, Aragorn, one of you shower while the other packs today's food. Whoever does it needs to remember plenty of water."  
  
Pippin immediately claimed the right of packing their food, while Aragorn started bellowing about how he didn't need to shower. It took Legolas threatening him with a bow to get him into the bathroom, then another half an hour of shouting at the King for him to finally turn on the shower and get in. He still refused to wash his hair, but he at least got it wet.  
  
Meanwhile Pippin was pattering around trying to pack their food. Legolas had given him 3 bags in which he would place the food and instructions not to pack malleable food. Pippin just wished that they could have borrowed Bill from Sam. A good Pony would have been useful at that time Pippin had thought.  
  
It was around 8 o'clock when they were finally ready to leave. They were all wearing travelling clothes and their nice Lothlorien cloaks. Legolas and Aragorn had finished packing their food (just a few treats in case they get hungry,) while Pippin showered and got ready.  
  
"Aragorn, should we bring a camera?" Legolas asked in Elvish as they began to leave.  
  
"Why, I believe we should! I packed my digital, just hold a moment, I'll go get it!" Aragorn said sounding slightly giddy.  
  
Pippin looked grouchily at the King of Gondor as he returned with a nice digital camera. "Why do you always get such nice stuff?"  
  
Aragorn chuckled as they left. "Called taxes young Hobbit."  
  
Soon they had taken the bus to the subway, and the subway to the stop near the Vatican (forgot its name). So they walked toward the entrance to Vatican City.  
  
The thing is, when they got in line to get in, they started moving extremely slow. so slow that Pippin had time to make up a song. It went like this . . .  
  
"We are a . . . herd of turtles, a little herd of turtles! We move so slow we're going ba-ackwards! Woah oh oh, we are a herd of turtles, a little herd of turtles, we are moving so slow we're going backwards!!! Oh woah oh these hurdly turtles are we!" Pippin belted out disturbing several nearby pigeons.  
  
"Pippin, shut up." Aragorn said as Pippin started singing it again. Once they were inside and Legolas stopped to look at a painting.  
  
"Yes, please." Said an elderly man nearby reading a magazine.  
  
Pippin bowed to the man and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, sir."  
  
The old man just shrugged it off and continued reading the magazine. Legolas looked at the cover and recognized it as a rumor mongering tabloid. he read the cover anyway. In bold letters it said,  
  
"VATICAN RED ALERT" Under that it said,  
  
"THE POPE IS MISSING! 'He seems to have just wandered off' says a agitated cardinal."  
  
Aragorn was reading it too and opened his mouth. "Wow, really?"  
  
The Elderly man looked at Aragorn and said, "No, I'm not missing."  
  
All three travelers looked at the Elderly man and let out a yelp of surprise.  
  
"It's the Pope." Pippin said his mouth open.  
  
"Yeah, it is," Aragorn said.  
  
"I thought that he looked familiar." Legolas commented.  
  
They excused themselves to go start looking around.  
  
(A/N: In case you people don't know, but the cathedrals in Italy are in the shape of a cross. So they have a long building with two wings off near the far side of the building. Its really cool, because the Vatican is in a square that is shaped like a key. The part where the building is, is the head of the key, and then you got a road, then you have yourself a nice little square again! Ok, back to the story!)  
  
As Aragorn and Legolas started watching mass, Pippin wandered off to where the Pope was again. (Don't ask me why the pope is still there. It's just easier this way.)  
  
Pippin sat down next to the Pope and said, "Hullo."  
  
The Pope nodded.  
  
"So, you're the Pope?"  
  
"Yes, I am."  
  
Pippin said, "oh" and sat staring at the picture in front of him.  
  
After a while Legolas and Aragorn noticed that Pippin was gone.  
  
"Dang!" Aragorn said looking around. "We have got to tell him to stop wandering off!"  
  
Legolas stood stock sill for a moment, obviously listening for something.  
  
"He's where we saw the Pope, I think I can distinguish the sound of his voice . . ."  
  
Aragorn was immediately off, ready to tell Pippin that he couldn't have any treats for a while. Then he saw Pippin sitting next to the Pope telling him that orcs smell really bad.  
  
"Uhhhh, Pippin we need to go." Aragorn said uncertainly.  
  
"Oh, ok . . ." Pippin sadly said. He was standing up when Aragorn secretly took a picture of Pippin and the Pope.  
  
(A/N: I'm sorry, that took an unbelievable amount of time to put up . . . Ok, where to next? Should they have dinner with my relatives that live in Italy, should they go shopping, should they find out that Elrond is having dinner with my relatives and the Fellowship receives a quest? Or what?) 


	7. A Long Overdue Update

A/N: I beg of you, don't kill me for the evil horrible-ness of me not updating for such a horribly evil unbelievable amount of time! I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry! Well, anyway, lets go, so you don't have to listen to my pathetic apologies anymore! (im sorry!)  
  
Disclaimer: Well, as you all hopefully are aware of, I don't own any Lord of the Rings characters. I don't really own any of my relatives. (they own themselves!) but I must say, I came up with this idea all by myself.  
  
Chapter 7: A Very Late Chapter  
  
As they were walking around Rome, pretending not to be lost, Aragorn's cell phone rang.  
  
"Yello?" He said, trying to sound cool, but not quite succeeding. "King of Gondor speaking."  
  
Pippin and Legolas tried not to laugh. Deciding that they could use a rest, they went into a store while Aragorn was on the phone. They listened in half interest as Pippin picked out postcards to send his family and friends.  
  
"Oh, heeeey, Frodo, my little man! Whats up? ............ oh, you're in Italy too? Wow, that's weird! I thought that you and Sam were in France................... Oh, I see, you backpacked with Bill down to Italy because the French people were laughing at you..................... So, how'd you know we were here? Glorfy told you? Wow, that's sweet!......................... oh, you know someone who has relatives over here ............. They want to invite everyone you know to dinner at their house? Sweet, man! What's the address? .... Yeah .... Yeah..... ok ..... Got it man! See you guys later!" Aragorn hung up the phone and turned to Legolas and Pippin. "Yo, dudes, that was Frodo!"  
  
Lego and Pip nodded interestedly.  
  
"He knows someone who has relatives out here in Rome! We're invited to dinner at their house at 7:00!"  
  
Legolas just nodded (he was preoccupied with staring at himself in a mirror (ever since his hair was cut and spiked, he's been a little vain)) but Pippin stared at the king wide eyed.  
  
"We have to wait 'till ... 'till 7:00?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!" unable to contain himself he burst out into gut wrenching sobs, threw himself on the floor pathetically, and started moaning about how he was going to starve to death.  
  
Aragorn, not having kids and also being an only child, had no clue what to do. "Hey, Leggy, how 'bout some help here?"  
  
Still preoccupied with the mirror, Legolas waved a hand and said, "Just a minute, I'm busy."  
  
"BUSY?!?!?!" Aragorn cried, "You're staring at yourself in a mirror! I don't really consider that busy!"  
  
"Oh go polish your sword!" Legolas snapped, never taking his eyes off the mirror.  
  
"BUT WHAT ABOUT PIPPIN?!" Aragorn yelled over the racket Pippin was making.  
  
At about that moment, a young, dark haired girl came into the shop. She perched her orange sunglasses on her head and knelt down next to Pippin.  
  
Aragorn watched expectantly as the teenage girl took a deep breath. He figured she was going to do something to calm the Took down.  
  
"SHUT UP!" the girl screamed in Pippin's ear. The volume of the scream was amazing. Legolas held his ears and tore his gaze away from the mirror and stared at the girl in amazement. Pippin stared up at her, teary eyed.  
  
"You can yell louder than me." He whispered.  
  
"Yep!" The girl stood up and helped Pippin to his feet. She wasn't very tall, but obviously not a Hobbit. She appeared to be half-Elvish and half oriental human.  
  
Aragorn looked amazed. "I would have never thought to have done that. You're amazing. Who are you, if I may be so bold to ask?"  
  
The girl bowed to Aragorn, then Legolas, "My name is Kitsune, and I just so happen to be the authoress of this fic."  
  
Legolas took her hand and kissed it, "Lady Kitsune, I feel as if I was in the presence of one of the Valar themselves!"  
  
Aragon sighed, "I was hoping we wouldn't have to hear about the Valar anymore."  
  
Kitsune grinned, "Thanks, there, Leggo... I think. Well, I've got to be going now, my family is waiting." She turned to leave. "Bye bye!"  
  
"I hope we shall meet again!" Legolas said.  
  
"I'm sure we will!" Kitsune called back, and then was gone.  
  
Aragorn stared at Legolas and Pippin staring after the half-Elvish teenager. It was an event. Someone could yell louder than Pippin and pull Legolas away from a mirror to stare at someone else. That was something, indeed.  
  
A/N: I was meaning to do the dinner scene in this chapter, but I'm home sick today and I need all my strength to write the next chapter. I await your reviews! Please don't be angry with me.  
  
Pippin: Is Kitsune pretty?  
  
Me: Sure, why not?  
  
Legolas: To me she is as a sea, sparkling in the sunlight.  
  
Me: Wow, thanx for the compliment, Leggo.  
  
Legolas: You typed it, not me.  
  
Me: Watch out buster, I could make them give you a pink Mohawk and  
hang you upside down off the railings of the Domo.  
  
Legolas: I did not mean to offend you, my lady.  
  
Me: *grins*  
  
Pippin: NOT FAIR!!!!! I DIDN'T GET TO SAY MUCH! 


	8. Dinner With Someones Family

A/N: Ok, onto the dinner scene! Now, this involves much of my family (all names changed, of course) and it may have some inside jokes. If you don't understand, ask me and I'll try to explain! Oh, yes, my dearest sister will be helping me with this chapter, and without her, I would not be able to write this.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own LotR. HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO SAY THAT?!?!?!? Oh, some of the dinner conversation does come from While You Were Sleeping, and I don't own that.  
  
Chapter 8: Dinner with Someone's Relatives  
  
In the hotel room, Legolas carefully spiked his hair while Aragorn made sure his was the perfect amount of greasy so that it wasn't flammable. Pippin was sitting on the couch eating potato chips.  
  
"Leggy, Strider?" Pippin asked, "Have you ever wanted to spell 'potato', 'potatoe'?"  
  
Legolas shrugged, "I've never really thought about it, Pip."  
  
Aragorn stopped. "Hmm... you know, I like that. It seems more right than potato. I think I'll make a law. Potato is now spelled potatoe."  
  
(A/N: tell you the truth, Im only saying that cuz I hate spelling potato as potato. I think potatoe is so much better.)  
  
Pippin looked at the clock and leapt for joy, scattering potatoe chips all over the room. "Hurray! 'Tis time for us to go!"  
  
Legolas and Aragorn looked at the little hobbit.  
  
"Did you say Hurray?" Lego asked.  
  
"Did you say 'Tis?" Aragorn asked.  
  
Puffing up, Pippin said, "That's how they speak in the Shire."  
  
"Ah, Shire-speak." Aragorn said understandingly as they all headed out.  
  
Conveniently, there was a taxi stop right outside the hotel. After checking the drivers seat for signs of Arwen, they got in and gave the address. Amazingly, they found out that Legolas spoke fluent Italian.  
  
"I didn't know you spoke Italy-speak, Leggy!" Pippin said in awe.  
  
Nodding, Legolas said, "I'm much older than the both of you combined, I've had lots of time to learn languages."  
  
They soon arrived at a large house. The driver let them off at the gate, and while Lego paid, Aragorn pushed the buzzer. Ominously, the gate creaked open. Sitting on the steps smoking a pipe, was Merry.  
  
"Merry!" Pippin said running up the steps. "You're here too!"  
  
Merry puffed at his pipe. "Yep. But they didn't want me smoking in the house." He put away his pipe and knocked on the door with them.  
  
Elrond opened the door. "Welcome to Rivendell, Italian style. Please, come in."  
  
"Is this your house, Elrond?" Legolas asked in Elvish.  
  
"No, I just know the people who own it." Elrond replied as the group trouped in.  
  
Contemplating the Elvish being spoken, Aragorn stroked his beard and said to the Hobbits. "I believe they are talking about eyebrows."  
  
A beautiful woman stood in the hallway to greet the guests. "Hello there." She said pleasantly.  
  
Legolas bowed. "Hello, ma'am. It is a pleasure to meet you, from all of us."  
  
Pippin beamed as Kit walked in. "Hey there guys!" The girl said grinning. "Come on in and meet the rest of my family. This is my mom. You can call her Mom."  
  
They walked into a dining room and Mom introduced everyone. "This is my husband, you can call him Dad I suppose, then this is my oldest son Alan and his wife Elizabeth, then Kathleen, and Marie, and I guess you know Kit already."  
  
They all took their seats and Aragorn noted that there were other familiar faces. Elrond was there as well as his sons Elladan and Ellohir, then Frodo and Sam were there, Merry of course, Gimli, and then Gandalf. Plus Glorfindel and Legolas' dad, Tharanduil. It was a bit odd.  
  
Then the food was brought out. Lasagna and homemade breadsticks, lots of Kool-aide, salad, and a big huge bowl of steaming hot mashed potatoes.  
  
A huge grin wreathed across Sam's face. "Look Mr. Frodo, they made potatoes!"  
  
Mom smiled. "Yes, I'm anti Atkins, hence the carb loaded meal. Hope none of you mind!"  
  
Elladan grimaced and went for the salad.  
  
Kit turned on Legolas. "So, what type of girl do you like?"  
  
At that same time, Aragorn was talking with Dad. "All my relatives were really tall."  
  
Sam, still grinning broadly said, "These mashed potatoes are so creamy."  
  
Gandalf was telling the story of the mines of Moria to Kathleen and Marie. "Then, the giant octopus monster grabbed Frodo, and only my quick thinking saved him from certain digestion."  
  
Legolas pondered, "I like blondes. Chubby ones."  
  
Dad nodded to Aragorn. "John Wayne was six foot three."  
  
Frodo glanced at Glorfindel; "Your hair is so golden. It reminds me of the ring."  
  
Sarcastically, Kathleen said, "So running into the mines saved Frodo while Legolas, Aragorn, and Boromir attacked?"  
  
Tharanduil snorted, "You like brunettes!" Legolas blushed.  
  
"My dad was at least seven feet tall." Aragorn boasted.  
  
Sam shook his head; "These mashed potatoes are so creamy."  
  
Glorfindel looked nervously at Frodo. "Hey, quit staring at my hair, bozo."  
  
Gandalf was talking about the Balrog. "Yes, we had just defeated the cave troll when I sensed a dark presence coming toward us. I cried, 'To the Bridge of Khazad Dum!' we all fled."  
  
Gimli said to Mom, "Most people think that there are no dwarf women! That we just pop out of the ground, like daisies!"  
  
Alan and Elizabeth were talking to Elrond. Alan ranted, "But don't you see?! If you elves had made better boats then you wouldn't have to leave anyone behind!"  
  
"FRODO, LET GO OF MY HAIR!" Glorfindel screeched.  
  
"YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!"  
  
Kit grinned at Legolas. "You know, I have a friend that's brunette."  
  
"Shaq is 7 feet tall at least."  
  
"These mashed potatoes are SO creamy." Sam said in delight.  
  
Mom replied, "Well, that's nice, Gimli, but you have Lasagna in your beard."  
  
Elrond sniffed haughtily, "You think that you're smarter than me?"  
  
"I think I'm fine." Legolas muttered while Kit poked his hair. "I'm single and proud of it."  
  
Aragorn puffed, "My grandfather is much taller than this Shaq."  
  
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"  
  
Elladan started sobbing, "All the salad is gone!"  
  
Ellohir fell over twitching, holding his ears, "The pain, the noise! Owwww!"  
  
"Legolas, my son, you must find a wife to produce an heir."  
  
"These mashed potatoes are so creamy."  
  
Suddenly, Pippin stood up. All conversation ceased. "Can we all go talk in the other room?"  
  
Everyone filed into the next room and sat down, yet everything was still silent.  
  
Elrond stood. "Now, I suppose I shall bring up an important matter that has been concerning me." Everyone leaned in attentively. Elrond raised an eyebrow. "There is an important quest, one that could mean your life, your happiness, your sanity."  
  
Everyone gasped.  
  
(A/N: :p How do you like this? You can't know of this important quest until I update. Hehehe!) 


End file.
